Monday, February 11, 2013

2013 is MY year

Yes, tempting fate is never clever but you know what? I really am feeling it. This year is going to be my best yet; I'm working, I have focus and the ME/CFS is finally proving to be manageable; even with the ridiculous workload I'm under.

The crash count downward trend continues and I'm almost at my goal of less than 5 a month! This keeps up then I'll be able to start taking on more hours and hopefully, in a couple of years or so i'll be able to work full time again!

2010 2011 2012
Amount of crashes in January88unknown
Amount of crashes in February99unknown
Amount of crashes in March1379
Amount of crashes in April10510
Amount of crashes in May11146
Amount of crashes in June15104
Amount of crashes in July8910
Amount of crashes in August1674
Amount of crashes in September1093
Amount of crashes in October14155
Amount of crashes in November8182
Average crash per month:11106

I haven't included December 2012 as it would throw off the stats having missed the data for the last 2 years (somehow) and to be fair having 9 in a month hurts the downward trend but when you take into account that I also had  the winter sickness bug ONLY having 9 crashes is a result - look at November 2011 when I had the same sickness; double the crashes.
I know I'm using my brain more and I'm doing a LOT of mental work without much pacing but the fatigue crashes are definitely getting less (by which I mean the total physical shutdowns are getting fewer and further apart) however the aphasia seems to be getting worse.

I'm coping with it but it is really frustrating in class to be trying to describe or explain something and have no words available with which to do so - it's no wonder the student feedback from one of my classes was that I can't explain things for shit. (not in those words but...)
9am is not the best time for my brain to function; my 7pm class for the same module seem to have no issue with me so yep, I need to work on my consistency which probably means resorting to video delivery for some lessons. I'm working on it, it's just one of those little issues that ME/CFS throw at you to work around and I'm experienced enough at that now that given time I'll find a solution to it.

So yeah, feeling pretty good on the ME/CFS front. I figure next year should be even better as there will be less stress on the work front because not only will I know what I'm doing in the bureaucratic box ticking front, I will also be more confident with the course content and my delivery of it; everyone keeps telling me the first year teaching is the worst, that it's a steep learning curve and everything seems so much harder but if that's the case then next year will definitely be a breeze - I'm already concocting ways of making it easier on myself and more interesting for the students so... Woot!


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