Last night, well, most of yesterday, was spent in a miserable heap - I was crying for no reason, my head was pounding - so much so that at some point in the afternoon it developed full blown migraine status and I spent most of the day in bed or lay on the couch.
I'm sick of aching, it used to be that i'd ache when it was hot - now i ache when it's cold, it's like my muscles fuse into place and when I move them the 'crack' is audible.
It sucks major donkey bollocks.
I'm completely back in the unrefreshed sleep camp - probably my own fault since I've not been going to bed until gone 1am, but i'm just lying there for a good hour before I doze off, then i'm skimming sleep all night, constanty waking up and dozing off unable to hit deep sleep.
and I ache. Really ache - everywhere, my back, my arms, my legs, my neck and shoulders..
I'm a 30 year old woman inhabiting he body of a 72 year old.
At least that's how it feels.
I can guess forever as to what's causing this but i'll never be right - I know stress is not helping, I'm worried about money again, i've got to fill in my incapacity benefit forms but as soon as i sit down with them i get panicky and hit meltdown and just go back to bed - i can't keep doing that because they need to be in soon.
Guess I should call welfare rights again.
The thing is, i know about all these new guidelines they have regarding ME/CFS which means that since i'm apparantly a 'moderate' case I may not be eligible for full benefits - i'm barely scraping by now, actually i'm not scraping by, i'd be buggered if it wasn't for my overdraft and that's being slowly eaten away again. I'm just stressed.
life stinks.
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