Sunday, May 28, 2006

Feck feck fecking fecking FECK!

I've overdone it.

The last three days have just been crap. It's been building up for about 3 weeks, I've been getting gradually more tired, my sleep has been less restful and now I'm back with the constant pain and the sore throats - at least the headaches are only intermittant.

So it's a good job I'm on half term from college with only another 3-4 weeks to go when I go back. I don't know if it's the travelling that's done it - or perhaps it's the length of time I'm concentrating for, the fact that I've started drinking tea and eating a lot of dairy products again - or even that I had a big drinking episode around my birthday.
Either way, I've been slacking on the food and pacing front and now I'm feeling the consequences.

I'm just sick of it, at least when I'm just 'tired' (like that word can even begin to convey the feeling) I don't care, I just want to be in bed or lay down somewhere.
But the aches... they sap your will to live. Trying to not make the bloke feel rejected is a strain, it hurts to sit in a single position for too long, I can't stay cuddled up when lying down... everything just HURTS! trying to stay pleasent and 'normal' is just more hard work and adds to the general crapness of it all - and I can't even talk to him about it because he just tells me to shut up and stop being negative.

Like that helps.

Gah! I'me feeling sorry for myself so it's probably time I fecked orf to bed and attempt to get some decent sleep for a change. Doing more than dipping in and out of a doze would be fantastic! I was doing so well, it's my own fault for rushing it though - a realisation that does not bring a smile to my face.
Oh aye, that therapist is gonna have a field day with me next week.

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