Monday, June 26, 2006

VegEPA and the ongoing nightmare

I've been taking these VegEPA supplements for a month only to realise I'm taking the wrong dose, I'm supposed to take 7-8 capsules a day, I've been taking 2.. Whoops.
The thing is, they're expensive - I've been sent a pretty in depth booklet from the Manchester ME society and the results and feedback on this supplement look promising, it's just another expense on top of everything else, though if they do work as well as is claimed then they get priority over my driving lessons that's for sure!

My website (rosevibe.me.uk/cfs)is about 70% done but I'm having to take a break from it, the brain fog is kicking in again. I can tweak it but I'm so easily distracted that evry few minutes i'm either getting up and bimbling around or I'm just flicking between the pages without really seeing what it is I'm looking at.
It's frustrating, I want to get it done.

I'm also gutted after speaking to one of my favourite cousins earlier this evening, she didn't know I had CFS (I tend not to talk about it if I can help it and most of my family have no clue that there is anything wrong with me never mind what it's called, comes in handy having very little contact with anyone sometimes)
The thing is, it sounds like she may have it - this sucks big time, she's a lot younger than I was when I came down with this, she's just started mapping out her life, this'll fuck things up for sure if it turns out to be what's wrong with her.. I'm not a religious person but I'm praying like anything she's just sick with some virus that clears up in another couple of weeks or so.

Oh and the nightmares are back - I actually woke up screaming this morning.
I dreamt that I'd gone to pick up a glass from a table, the glass was beside a potted yukka plant, as I reached for it I noticed what looked like one of those tendrils of fibre optic wire you get in a spaceship lamp, pushing it's way out of the plant.
As I watched another then another joined it until I realised it was a spider (I'm terrified of spiders) I backed away, knocking the table - my stepmum was behind me laughing and telling me to run away, it just kept growing more and more legs and as they grew it started to look like a transluscent one of these balls but with the 'legs' as fine as hair:

Anyway I'm still backing away but now I'm running backwards because it's started coming towards me and it's growing larger the closer it gets to me, I stumble and it hits my knee.. I scrabble backwards but it's run up my body and as it jumps onto my head it lets out this weird high pitched giggling sound..

That's when I woke up screaming and thashing about in bed.

*sigh* I'd love a decent nights sleep, even if it's not all night, just a few hours of deep refreshing kip would be fantastic!

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