Thursday, December 21, 2006

Here I go again... *cue guitar*

Got up at around 11am after another night of nightmares.. Again I couldn't remember them - it's a crying shame that, it means something is obviously bugging me but I can't think what it is.

Perhaps I'm subconciously stressing about the DLA thing and my financial situation, it is the most likely candidate after all. Or perhaps it's because I'm getting broody again, I'm starting to feel as though my chances of motherhood are fast slipping away, that's the part of me that even thinks I deserve to have kids anyhow (but we wont go there now will we?) Or maybe I'm just worrying about this illness again.

Meh! either way, I'm not sleeping too well and I've given up any pretence at pacing until the holiday madness is over - i'm back on the boom and bust regime, it's not good but it's at least productive (when I'm not bust) sadly it also means my sleep cycle is buggared again - look at the time - proof positive since I should've been in bed at least an hour ago - yet I'm wide awake.

The guys and gals on the support group message boards have been keeping me entertained and mildly disgusted chatting about this
I wouldn't mind but I hate dark chocolate *sigh* why can it never be a nice bar of dairy milk eh?!

I've neglected a specific symptom round up for a while - not good since this blog is supposedly my way of tracking patterns but there ya go - my memory sucks, so here's an up to date 'as of this moment' one:
  • Fatigue
  • General acheyness
  • Intermittant tinnitus
  • Intermittant verbal dyslexia
  • almost constant dehydration
  • intermittant dizziness
  • sore throat
  • mouth ulcers
  • problems with bowel movements (A.G to anyone in the know *blush*)
At least this time depression isn't in there - I'm generally handling things quite well (please disregard the nightmares, I have no control over them)
Actually - I could just be having nightmares because of the idiot downstairs and his 4am Dolly parton parties (they must be parties, why else play her greatest hits at full volume and attempt to sing along at the top of your voice? I wouldn't mind but the guy really can't sing)
At least he seems to have gotten rid of the dog, it's mournful howling all day was a little much on top of his other anti social and inconsiderate behaviour!

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