Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I'm so lucky.
I've been reading back through the early postings on this blog and I have to say that I'm probably one of the luckiest people alive.
I no longer have the majority of the symptoms I suffered through back then; now all I have to deal with is fatigue, brain fog and pain (and the occasional bout of menieres disease) some people may say there is nothing lucky about that but when compared to those early days I thank my lucky stars that, awful as they are, these things are all I have to worry about now.
I have coping mechanisms in place and yes, I lose around 30-50% of my waking life to these symptoms but that's a damned sight better than the 80-90% of waking life I was losing before.
I have learned through this illness to prioritise and structure my life to get the most out of it - I know many people that seem to gain nothing from all their hours of perfect health so this makes me a winner in my eyes.
I manage to spend quality time with my daughter and partner, I am slowly finishing my degree (and yes I'm on track for a 1st class honours) and the job prospects following that are incredibly hopeful - even despite my health issues.
So yes, I am very lucky. Things could be a lot worse, things HAVE been a lot worse; the fact that they are always improving (albeit slowly) is something to be very thankful for.
My main goal when I became ill was to get well enough to find work and come off benefits - this is a goal I may finally realise once I have completed my degree. It's a very satisfying thought to know you can actually achieve your goals.
My next goal is to earn enough to buy the house I've been dreaming of forever - the house I'd saved enough deposit for when I got ill and had to watch that money dwindle to nothing as my income vanished.
I'm lucky because I didn't buy that house before I became ill, if I had I'd have been homeless and most likely dead by now as I wouldn't have met the man who changed my life and gave me my daughter and the strength to keep going.
Everything happens for a reason - never forget that.