Wednesday, August 01, 2012

updates and employment

Figured I should do some updating, been slack on the website front for a variety of reasons. Anyhow this is my current 'crash' breakdown (excluding jan/ feb due to loss of data when phone died):

2010 2011 2012
Amount of crashes in January88unknown
Amount of crashes in February99unknown
Amount of crashes in March1379
Amount of crashes in April10510
Amount of crashes in May11146
Amount of crashes in June15104
Amount of crashes in July8910
Amount of crashes in August167tbc
Amount of crashes in September109tbc
Amount of crashes in October1415tbc
Amount of crashes in November818tbc
Average crash per month:1110tbc

having more of the days where my limbs feel too heavy but I'm able to move about and my head feels 'distant' (brain foggy) so I can carry on a conversation but the effort needed to concentrate is so tiring that I kind of dip in and out so people think I'm either being ignorant or rude. I hate it. I don't like blowing hot and cold but I can't help it - it's bloody hard work trying to be normal when every sense is being bombarded with stimuli I'm struggling to process; just want to stay in bed on days like that because although I look normal it's sooooo hard to BE normal. *sigh* one day I'll be free of this shit. Until then, carry on as 'normal'.

Despite not hearing anything from the ESA folks about a back to work appointment (something I thought would've happened by now since i'm in the work group) I've continued to apply for jobs left right and centre and I'm supposed to be starting a small job in september - 3.5hrs a week for a semester; teaching foundation degree students on their final year project module. It's not much but it is a foot in the door and I really can handle that amount of work easily so, if I do well.. fingers crossed, i'll get more hours and if i don't at least it's something else on my cv, they've also said I could get a PGCE paid for so... Just waiting on getting the paperwork to fill out to make it official.

Just trying really hard not to think about how much income i'll lose doing this - I have to start somewhere and it's either bite the bullet and TRY or just sit around forever waiting for something safer to come along. Hoping Stef will finally get a job soon too, would be nice to be free of the benefits trap - being able to move somewhere bigger would be a dream come true; I dream of a craft room...


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