Monday, October 16, 2006

Relief and resignation

I've been 'off' for the last 2 weeks or so, I've spent more time in bed or on the couch than I have in months, the headaches and muscle/ joint aches have to be felt to be believed. At first I thought it was maybe post-holiday blues, then I thought perhaps it was down to not having enough vegepa, then I just didn't care because I felt crappy and everything hurt.

Well, it turns out I'm not in the throes of a relapse (thank god) I've just had a viral infection.
I went to see my Dr today to check out my ear because for the last 3 weeks at least it's felt like I have water trapped in it and it's been driving me nuts. He had a looksee and said, nope it's incredibly clean - there's just traces of scarring from a viral infection, that should go soon.
He offered me steroids etc to help with the clear up but I declined, it's going all by itself and if I start taking more pills and potions it'll upset what passes for a balance in my system.
Thankfully he agreed that this was probably the best course of action.

It's definitely served as a reminder though, I really don't want a relapse. I'm sick of feeling lazy and useless - I've been getting back to a stage where I can at least do things around the flat, I'd rather not end up back in bed whimpering pitifully because everything hurts and I'm too tired to do anything about it.
I just wish I could tell when I'm ill as opposed to just thinking it's this delightful disease flaring up again - it's like constantly having a mild viral infection sapping your strength, this means when I get an actual virus, I can't tell the difference!
Still, it could've been worse. At least I can still get up and move around even if I feel tired and achey, I might've ended up having a total relapse and needing stef to carry me to and from the bathroom again *shudders* not if there's truly a god I won't!

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