Saturday, April 21, 2007

Back to work

I'm going to see sue Brady at Baskerville house on Monday.
I'm nervous.

I just don't know what to expect at all. I've talked it through with Stef and he thinks it would help more in the long run if I try and get them to help me re-train in web design. I just don't know if they'll do that.
I'm also a little afraid that when I explain my problems she'll say there's not really anything they can offer me, I've taken this step, I really don't want to be shot down in flames at the first meeting.

I'm also afraid of having a relapse, I don't handle stress at all. I keep flashing back to some of my old jobs and the tightening in my chest makes me feel ill as I think of all the office politics and thoughtless managers I've had to deal with in the past.

Then I tell myself to stop being stupid, I won't be working in sales or customer service for those exact reasons, if they try to push me in those directions because of my experience i'll just have to take a stand and say NO!
These people are supposed to be here to help, there are several lasses in the support group who have used them and can't sing their praises enough. It will be ok, the worst that can happen is they say that in their opinion I'm not ready for work just yet and that will leave me no worse off than I am now.

I just really don't want to hear that.
Best case scenario for me is that they help me find a course in IT/ web design somewhere and offer help in the way of equipment and travel costs, that would help sort me out in the long term, short term; find me a job that I can either do from home or that doesn't involve me having to deal with too many people face to face or travel too far.

I just wish monday was here so I don't have this uncertainty to deal with, I want to start sorting out my future, either by starting to earn money to save towards it or by training so that i can better myself. There's nothing worse than stagnating!

No comments: